Rating
MLB First Year Draft
So I watched the MLB First Year Player Draft for a while (Yes, I was that bored) and was struck by two things...
- How is that the A's sucked so hard last year but only got a 14th place pick in the first round?
- Has anyone, but me, noticed that Bug Selig looks like Bill Gates' older, greasier, and less trustworty Brother?
Let us compare...
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That's not a fair comparison. I only used my monopoly position to collude the players association out of a third of a billion dollars, deny any possible competition, and keep franchises under my control. |
I'd have to agree, not a fair comparison. I used my monopoly position to bilk consumers out of trillions of dollars, squash competition from better products, and keep my licensees under control. |
Well, perhaps I was wrong. They don't seem to be the same at all. My mistake.
Just in case you need more disdain for the Yankees
From Phil Mushnick's column in the NY Post:
Reader Gary Cicio, NYC podiatrist, did the research, and asks us to choose one of the two options to see a Mariners-Yankees game this season, and from the very best seats:
Option 1: Two tickets to Tuesday night, June 30, Mariners at Yanks [at Yankee Stadium], cost for just the tickets, $5,000.
Option 2: Two round-trip airline tickets to Seattle, Friday, Aug. 14, return Sunday the 16th, rental car for three days, two-night double occupancy stay in four-star hotel, two top tickets to both the Saturday and Sunday Yanks-Mariners games, two best-restaurant-in-town dinners for two. Total cost, $2,800. Plus-frequent flyer miles.
My comment: I guess the Yankees have to figure out some way to pay for the $300 million dollar cheater that is A-Fraud.
From the Humor List
Subject: The History of Cinco de Mayo
Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico.
But, as we know, the great ship did not make it to NewYork. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.
The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and who were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
There is a group of people out there who don't believe this story,
and are not in favor of Cinco De Mayo.
They are known as the Cinco De Mayo nays.
Natinals
I may carp about the A's every now and then, but at least they can spell the team name correctly on the jersey.
My sister, a suffering Nats fan, sent me this picture. She said that she suspected the Baltimore Orioles of this because they are the team in that market known as the "O's", so Washington had to give up their "O"s.
I thought it was because they were putting zeros up on the scoreboard with such speed and vigor that they had to start taking O's off the uniforms to keep up with demand.
Bottom of the AL West already
OK, so it's only one game. But does it portend to another layer of suckage for the city of Oakland?
Talk about prescient, this Calvin and Hobbes cartoon is from April 4th, 1993.
BFR Passed!
BFR stands for biennial flight review. When you have a pilot's license, every two years you have to get a sign off from a CFI (certified flight instructor) or an FAA examiner.
I spent some time with flying with Christopher Freeze today getting grilled and drilled on proper aircraft flying techniques and safety. Must have done OK, since he signed my logbook! Good for another two years!
Rodney Dangerfield Jokes, from the Humor List
This girl was ugly. I took her to a dog show. She won.
This girl was ugly. I took her to a plastic surgeon. He added a tail.
This girl was ugly. I took her to the beach. The tide went out and stayed there.
Ah, one thing in football don't make sense. The two-minute warning. What's the big warning? Everyone knows you have two minutes to play. To me a two-minute warning is ... like when you're in bed with a chick. The phone rings. It's her husband on his car-phone. He says, "Honey, I'll be home in two minutes." That's a two-minute warning!
Oh, my wife told me she needs five thousand dollars - all her mother's teeth have to come out. I told her, "I'll give you ten thousand dollars - take her tongue out!"
I told my psychiatrist I keep thinking I'm ugly - he told me to lay on the couch - face down!
Oh, the other night, my wife met me at the front door, she was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble is - she was coming home!
I can't lose any weight, I tried jogging - I keep running into restaurants!
Oh, my wife signed me up for a bridge club - I jump off next Tuesday!
I'm getting old. I got no sex life - why, if I squeeze into a parking space I'm sexually satisfied!
Oh, I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to keep out of those places!
Oh, my old man was strict - he allowed no drinking in the house. I had two brothers who died of thirst!
Happy New Year, from the Humor List
New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
-- Mark Twain
Subject: Dreaming, from the Humor List
Some men see things as they are and say "Why?"
I dream things that never were and say, "I need to quit drinking!"
Subject: Maverick Lawsuit?(from the Humor List)
James Garner Files Suit Against John McCain, Claims Infringement On "Maverick" Trademark © 2008 American Politics Journal
James Garner, who played the original Maverick (Bret - on TV), has filed a restraining order on behalf of Jack Kelly (Bart), Roger Moore (Beau) and Robert Colbert (Brent), demanding that John McCain and Sarah Palin cease and desist referring to themselves as "Maverick" or "Mavericks."
"It's not like me or my fake brothers go around saying we're POW's," claimed the still ruggedly handsome Garner. "And you can be damn sure, other than those rumors about Moore, we never wore lipstick."
McCain and Palin have been running commercials saying they're the "Original Mavericks" because of their stance against their own party.
"If they were ever on the set of Maverick, they would know that we were never against having any kind of party," added Garner.
Quick, look behind you!(from the Humor List)
Behind every great man is a woman... rolling her eyes.
Idiocracy
This is an interesting movie that didn't see wide release, as far as I remember. It is a Mike Judge film (ala Office Space) that pokes fun at the dumbing down of American culture. While the movie had flashes of brilliance, it also had sections of mediocracy, which made the overall film a two and half star effort (rounded to three for the graphic).
The movie starts out like a documentary, explaining how the rampant rabbit-like breeding of the stupid far outstripped that of the intelligent. The culmination of this unselective breeding resulted in a society whose average IQ hovers in the mid to lower double digits.
The conspiracy theorist in me says this movie didn't reach wide release because the releasing corporation, (Fox), didn't like the idea the major corporations they get revenue from might be offended. There were some thinly veiled jabs at most of the major pop culture consumer companies like Carl's, Gatorade, etc. Or, perhaps, they realized that the majority of people that would go to a theater to see this movie would be offended because they were being ridiculed (even though I doubt they would use that word).
Maybe I would have enjoyed this more had I been stoned or drunk, but I'll never know. If you liked Office Space, you probably won't like this as much. If you prefer King of the Hill, then you might like this. If you tend more toward Bevis and Butthead, this you might like the dumber, "Ow, My Balls!", parts of this, but be confused by the documentary parts.
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Buy it from Amazon.
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Get more info from IMDb.
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Linus and I think alike...(from the Humor List)
"When you say, 'I wrote a program that crashed Windows,' people
just stare at you blankly and say, 'Hey, I got those with the system,
for free.'"
~ Linus Torvalds
How 'bout that, a talking dog!
A dog walks into a bar and says, "Hey, guess what? I'm a talking dog, ever seen a talking dog before? I doubt it! So...how about a free drink for the talking dog?"
The bartender answers, "Sure, why not, the toilet's right around the corner."
Subject: Woidz(from the Humor List)
Nostrildamus: The aborted sneeze, for example. You feel it coming, you get ready and it fizzles out. Other alternatives: adenoidance, eruptus interruptus, nosedud, noblow and gesundnotquite.
Hohophobia: The anxiety that is felt each year on first hearing Christmas music in a mall. Other alternatives: Handel's Nausiah, jingle blahs or Santa Affective Disorder (SAD).
Oldielocks: The thinning pony tail that some balding boomers wear. Other alternatives: dork-handle, ratlet, and phoneytail
Hameo: The person who tries to get on TV by jumping up and down behind a reporter Other alternatives: jerk-on-the-box, parasight, tele-bitionist, teletwirp and vidiot.
Motorolamouth: Someone who engages in the obnoxious use of cellphones in public places.
Immaculate correction: The spontaneous act of a computer fixing itself as soon as a repair person arrives.
Cranksinatra: The sound of a car engine trying to start on a cold winter morning in the driveway.
Asscapades: A perilous dance performed inadvertently on ice or hard-packed snow Other alternatives: floptrot, hopsicle, triple klutz and dance of the sore bum fairies, icekaputs.
Indian bummer: The blast of winter that comes after the first few days of spring warmth - in other words, the opposite of Indian summer.
Co-pilot in training
Whenever I work on the computer I usually have a co-pilot, ready to help. Squeakum is now learning how to be a co-pilot, too.
Smoke gets in my eyes
Even in the middle of the day, the view off my porch looks like the picture, above. The amount of smoke trapped in the Bay because of all the wildfires about the state is amazing. The meter on the solar panels report that were running at about half our normal sunlight level. Normally our view is of downtown Oakland, the Bay Bridge, and the Golden Gate. Now it's just past the bottom of the hill.
Good thing I'm a smoker, otherwise this hacking cough would worry me.
Editorial: Requiem for the Hummer
This link to the Dalles News says that GM's probably going to kill the Hummer. About time.
Squeakum gets bigger
Squeakum is starting to look more cat-like ever day. He now has ears and runs about like a loon.
Happy Towel Day!
Sadly, the guy that ran towelday.kojv.net is gone, so, too is the nifty graphic. There is another site, here to honor Towel Day.
George Carlin's Solution to Save Gasoline
Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we use...
The best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants! That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down...
Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the Border...
When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq. Tell him if he wants to come to America then he must serve a tour in the military...
Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it...
After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country...
He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal patriot...
This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves...
If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo...
Problem solved.
Baby Pix!
CaliCoCo had a kitten! His current name is Squeakum, since for the first couple of days all he did was squeak. That may be updated when he starts walking on his own and develops a personality.
Political Humor
The politicians were talking themselves red, white, and blue in the face.
- Clare Boothe Luce, 1902 - 1987
Three groups spend other people's money: children, thieves, politicians.
All three need supervision.
- Dick Armey
The politician in my country seeks votes, affection, and respect, in that
order.... With few notable exceptions, they are simply men who want to
be loved.
- Edward R. Murrow, 1908 - 1965
The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who
believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of
the people all of the time.
- Franklin P. Adams, 1881 - 1960
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed - and
hence clamorous to be led to safety - by menacing it with an endless
series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
- Henry Louis Mencken, 1880 - 1956
My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse
or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference.
- Harry S Truman, 1884 - 1972
Nuclear Cat
Diane got a new infrared camera. Here is our nuclear powered cat in action.
I don't know if the 63.8 in the center of the picture is surface temperature in F, or roentgens per minute. I see the forward exhaust port is glowing, though.
Frogs not the French kind
Normal frogs go, "Ribet, ribet, ribet".
Micro$oft frogs go, "Reboot, Reboot, Reboot"!
How about some Pi?(from the Humor List)
March 14th is always "National Pi Day" Why today? Because today is 3.14, the value of Pi. (Not valid in Kansas)
National Pi Day celebrates Pi, a mathematical concept and a number that never ends....at least no one has found the end yet. Often, we round it off to 3.14. If you are a mathematician, this is your day. For National Pi Day is a celebration of mathematics. And, more specifically ... it celebrates "Pi".
Today is the birthday of physicist Albert Einstein. Einstein was born on March 14, 1879. The date is also represented as 3.14. That strongly suggests some combination of these two facts is why someone created the day on March 14th. Of course, "Pi" was around long before Albert Einstein was born.
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern
by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi.
Q: What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference
by its diameter?
A: Cow pi.
Q: What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its
circumference by its diameter?
A: Moon pi.
Q: What do you get when you take a native Alaskan and divide its
circumference by its diameter?
A: Eskimo pi.
Q: What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference
by its diameter?
A: Pi in the sky.
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice
cream by its diameter?
A: Pi a'la mode.
From the Humor List
Calling an illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant" is like calling
a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist ".
- Source Unknown
From the Humor List
Subject: Air Force Sayings
"Yea though I fly through the valley of the shadow of death I shall
fear no evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
- At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan
"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."
- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than
submarines in the sky."
- From an old carrier sailor
"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
"Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club."
"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot messes up, the pilot dies; if an ATC messes up, ... The pilot dies."
"Never trade luck for skill."
"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight."
"A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication."
"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there."
"When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten."
"Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a rainy day."
Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: "When a plane crash seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible."
"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world;
it can just barely kill you."
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
"A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane
to its maximum."
- Jon McBride, astronaut
"If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into
the crash scene as possible."
- Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."
"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
"Basic Flying Rules: Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."
"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal."
As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having
torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing. The crash truck
arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What
happened?"
The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"
- Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)
EU slaps Microsoft with $1.35 billion fine
Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of jerks. I don't think 1.35B is enough of a fine, but you have to start somewhere I suppose.
Check out the article at CNet News for more detail. There is also an interesting related article on that site, as well, about how M$Slop's EU headache is just beginning.
F the French, AGAIN!
Or Let Levi Ride, you stinky cheese ASOs.
Seems the ASO (Amaury Sports Organization), the company that owns the Tour de Farce, is not allowing the Astana team to compete this year. While the Astana team of last year was kicked out for problems, this team in under new management and is a completely different set of riders. Besides, if it were just a matter of a corrupt team being banned, then why is Cofidis still in?
So Astana takes the team title and Levi Leipheimer takes the individual title in the Tour of California, but Astana is not good enough for the Tour?
HA! (see graphic in the Ranting Rating column)
It's not as if they were competing against the Little Sisters of the Poor Bike Team(s). This was a week long event against the contenders of the TDF like Gerolsteiner, Rabobank, and Quick Step, to name a few.
I think that the French are afraid that the American racers will make them look foolish and weak. Again!
Smacks of the Floyd fiasco from a previous TDF. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, F the French, I believe Floyd. I also believe their witchhunts will kill any American interest in the sport, if they haven't already.
If Versus, the channel that carries bike racing, had any guts, they'd refuse to carry the TDF unless Astana is allowed to ride.
So sign the petition on the Levi site and let your feelings be known.
RSS anyone?
After doing the VMS Audio Update podcast for over a year, I finally got around to making an RSS XML file so random Joe can subscribe to my coma inducing podcast. The podcast comes out whenever I think I have enough material for a show. Sometimes it can be fun. Sometimes it is drivel. It is the only, as far as I know, podcast that deals with VMS, or OpenVMS if you must, news and interviews.
You can subscribe by clicking on the RSS icon,
, or
clicking here.
If you don't know what VMS, or OpenVMS is, then you should probably not subscribe, as it will all be very confusing.
Political Humor
Got some interesting gifs from friends regarding the current political situation. I found them funny. Hope you do, too.
Remember, choose your designated driver with care.
OK, I should vote for who, now?
Obama may be the "Candidate of Hope", but what does this
sign mean about Hillary?
The Masochistic Oakland Sportsfan
is there any other kind?
I saw on the front page of the Oakland Tribune over the weekend a story about how Al Davis, the Raiders GM/Owner/"Senile Crackpot" wants Lane Kiffen, the coach he hired just last year, to resign. I couldn't find a link to the original article at the Tribune, but this link will take you to a copy of it on another site...
What an idiot!
If the NFL declares Davis mentally incompetent, can they move the team (or any team) to LA without triggering another multi-million-dollar lawsuit?
Guaranteed. The Raiders will not have a winning season until Davis is gone.
Not that it is much better being an A's fan.
I went to the A's Fanfest on Saturday, along with the other ten faithful fans. The crowd was sparse, there weren't as many booths and vendors as I'd seen before, and the TV truck was nowhere to be found. They had a couple of places where you could get autographs from current players, but I didn't recognize any of the signers, so I passed.
Sad, really, when you think the A's made it to the second round of the playoffs in 2006. Last year they struggled to not finish last. This year, if the trend continues, they may break the MLB record for the worst won-lost record. Can they beat the 1916 Philadelphia Athletics 36-117 record?
We will see. As a Cubs fan for my NL team, you can see I don't choose wisely.
I'd say something nice about the Golden State Warriors, here, but...
- I don't want to jinx them, and
- they don't have Oakland in their name, so they don't really count.
Religious take from the Humor List.
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
or
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Tahoe Skiing
Diane, Tom and I ended 2007 with a skiing trip to Whistler/Blackcomb, North of Vancover, Canada. It's the site of the 2010 Winter Olympics, and the model of things to come with regards to the condo-iz-ation of ski areas. The main ski village is now a huge complex of shops on the ground floor, with hotels and condos on the top two or three floors. All laid out in a "Quaint European Village" style.
The food was great. The hotel was great. The skiing was great. But, like Disneyland, it was entertaining, because it was calculated to be that way.
Last week we went to Tahoe to ski. We stayed in King's Beach, which looks like it was built in the late Forties or early Fifties. The hotel we stayed at, Ferrari's Crown, has been family run since 1957. There was a plaque in the continential breakfast room from the 1960 Olympic Committe thanking them for their hospitality.
Deluxe accomodations? Not really, but then we weren't paying that much. The front desk folks were really nice and they had a lobby cat to greet you as you came in. The motel itself was a cobbled mess of additions and architectures spanning fifty years. For what we wanted, though (a quiet place to sleep near the slopes), it was just fine.
The first day we went to Alpine Meadows. The picture shows us at one of the chalets on the slopes having lunch. Unlike the zoo atmosphere found at most food huts, this one was not crowded, and quite enjoyable. Since we were there mid-week, we pretty much had the slopes to ourselves.
The second day we skiied at Northstar at Tahoe. This "destination" is owned by the same company that is building up Whistler, and it shows. Northstar offers more trails than Alpine, and we tried to cover them all before I drove back to the Bay Area that afternoon.
Happy New Year 2008
Happy New Year 2008!
Since June I've been coaxing a feral calico into becoming a house cat. She was all of four pounds when I found her, and could barely stand up. She had lesions and had licked all the fur off her back. After about six weeks of putting food closer and closer to the back door I finally got her to come in to eat. Another six weeks, or so, and I could pet her. Now she comes in and spends the night more often than not, and gets along well with Cole, the big boy black cat we've had since November 2006.
So here is a neat picture to start the New Year of Cat King Cole (above) and CaliCoCo (below) in the reading chair.
Wait a minute, this is the old crap. Where is the current stuff? It's right here.
Wasn't there older stuff, too? Yep, right here.
Back to main page.